Happy Birthday Gavin!

For many, this is the first picture they see of their son or daughter.

This, though, was the first picture we saw of Gavin.

Though we hadn't met him, and really knew nothing of his story, somehow we knew from the beginning that he was our son.  He was our surprise.  Just as many might be shocked to find out they were adding to their family a second time after growing their family just months before, we were as well.  This wasn't something we planned to do, but thankfully God's plan is greater!  

As I've mentioned before in Facebook posts, Gavin amazes me.  At 12, I cannot imagine joining a new family, trying to understand new norms, calling a random person I just met mom and dad, new traditions, new siblings, new recipes, the list goes on and on.  Gavin has not only survived, but is excelling.  Many times, I've used the word proud to describe that, but I would be proud of him just for trying.  I'm thankful.  I'm thankful that he seems to be at peace, thankful that he's made good friends at school, thankful that he has found hobbies and activities he enjoys.  I'm thankful for surprises, and thankful he's my son.

Gavin is a wonderful helper, he's kind to others, and is a super big brother.  He's funny, quirky, intelligent, and thoughtful.  

We love you so much Gavin.  We are so thankful for you, and hope for only the best for you.  We are so thankful for who God made you to be.  I hope thirteen is your best year yet.  

Progress

We cannot say enough wonderful things about the family that loved on our boys for a year before they came to live with us.  They loved them through the hardest parts -- the court cases, visitations, first months away from their home, the night terrors and so, so much more.  I "borrowed" this picture from their foster mom...these were our boys when they first came into care. 

 It's still hard for me to look at.  I hate they ever had to feel scared, that they ever had to feel confused.  Then, there's this picture...this is what love, care, and nurturing can do.  These were our little guys after some time with their precious foster family.  I mean, seriously.  I'm so thankful for a God that offers healing, and so thankful for families that are willing to interrupt their lives to let God use them to provide that healing.  

After our boys came, we kept reassuring them that they were here forever.  They weren't going anywhere else.  We often laugh because, several times, B has said he wants to go to a new house, wants to go live with Bumblebee, or wants to go stay with his foster family.  We'll tell him that we would miss him terribly, and he always clarifies that, no, he wants all of us to go stay wherever he has mentioned.  I've warned Mom and Sheila that this crew may show up on their door steps.

Even with tremendous amounts of love and nurturing, both boys still struggled quite a bit when they came to us (we definitely view this as normal...they've been through trauma, it was yet another transition, they ultimately didn't know us from Adam, they're kids, they're people).  Bowden, even through last summer, would become easily discouraged, hung his head a lot, would list a lot of things he wasn't able to do.  Thankfully, the boys have been in a wonderful school this year where they've received great care academically and through various therapies.  To watch the transition in Bowden, especially, has been amazing!  Now he loves to show us everything he can do (at times, we relate him to Stuart from Mad TV).  To watch him yesterday at his Soccer match was nothing short of amazing.  It's amazing what love, stability, and therapy (as needed) will do for a person!  We are forever grateful.  

Wade has not struggled a lot with confidence issues that present themselves as such.  (He exhibits his in other ways).  However, this morning, he said, I'm a stinker.  We were like, you can be, yes.  Then he said, but Mommy and Daddy love me even when I'm a stinker.  I'm just thankful he knows that!  I hope he always knows how treasured he is, even when we're trying to temper some of the "Wade."

We are also so proud of our oldest, Gavin!  I cannot imagine being 12 years old and moving in with people I didn't know.  I would have been an absolute basket case.  I'm 37, and probably still would.  However, he has moved cities, homes, and schools with absolute grace.  He is in choir and absolutely loves it.  He comes home with papers that have scored well and hangs them on the refrigerator himself.  This nine weeks he made the A-B honor roll at school.  We are so proud of his progress and the way he has adapted.  We love him so. 

I'm so thankful for the love Jeff and I know we have received from our Father, and am so thankful for these three sweet souls we get to parent.  Transition is hard, and these boys have lived in pretty much constant transition for the last year.  I'm so thankful that His mercies are new every morning, that they seem to remember the "love" more than the difficulties,and for the peace that comes from knowing you are loved, even when you're being a "stinker." (This goes for the parents and the kids!)

Happy Birthday, B!

I can't believe this little chunky monkey will be five tomorrow!  I don't know what most moms do on the eve of a new year, but as I sat here holding him out of his bath tonight, I rubbed his back, wondering if next year he'll still want to sit in my lap or still let me rub his back.  I can't believe we're celebrating his second birthday together; sometimes they still seem so new and sometimes it's hard to believe that we haven't had him since he looked like this.  

I also don't know what most adoptive mothers do on birthdays.  In the midst of the celebration of my sweet boys, I also grieve.  I grieve for their mom who battles things I'll never know.  I grieve what she misses.  I hate that she doesn't know how sweet this boy is, that she doesn't know how he likes to cuddle when he sleeps, likes to randomly say, "Hey Mommy, I love you,"  that he tells me I'm his princess, smiles in his sleep, offers anything he has to random strangers because he's just that giving, and loves to sing at the top of his lungs.  Don't get me wrong, I'm so thankful God lets me spend each day with these sweet boys, but I always remember that loss led to this.  I'm thankful for a God who makes beauty from ashes.  

So, tonight, I remember.  I remember her.  I thank God for the way she loved these boys.  I pray that her heart finds peace tomorrow.  I pray that it's not a day that causes her struggles to be harder to fight.  I pray for her health.  I remember how much my boys have grown, I thank God for the peace they, especially B, have found!  I thank God for grace, for redemption, for his gifts, and I pray my sweet B always knows how incredibly special, and incredibly loved he is.  

 And tomorrow, tomorrow we celebrate.  We celebrate life, family, each other, and our sweet Bowden.  We'll eat some "Larry Pizza," spend too many quarters in the candy grab machine, sing Sweet Home Alabama and Feliz Navidad at the top of our lungs, and thank God for this beautiful boy's life.  I hope every year is the best one ever!